Burger King #2171, Austin, Texas

I almost never go to Burger King. Don't they kill dolphins or some shit like that? I'll admit that the only thing that drew me here Sunday was the Original Chicken Sandwich which they advertised for $1.04 for July 3-4. We found a nice shady parking spot which was surprising considering how desolate it is on the southwest corner of Hwy. 71 and IH35. For a Sunday at lunchtime, it was mostly empty: just a table full of housekeepers from a nearby motel, and a Middle Eastern dude ordering food for the six attractive women who may have been his sisters, his cousins, his harem or a combination of all three.

What I didn't deduce from the advertisements is that you have to pay 50 cents more if you want cheese and tomatoes added to the sandwich. No big deal, it's a good bargain still, but skip the cheese. I'll tell you why in a minute.

So we ordered one for Santi and two for me, because I didn't think they would be very big. Like I said, I never go to Burger King. Last time I came here, which had to be more than 3 years ago because I was still in an apartment, I had a coupon for a free Whopper. I shit you not; the onion slices were at least half an inch thick on it. It was like the meat was an afterthought. You can have it your way, but you're going to get it the Mexican way, too.

It took about five minutes or so before they called our number, and when I got the tray there were only two sandwiches on it. I told the lady and she stared at me like my hair was on fire, so I told her again in Spanish. They got right on it and I had the third one in another 4 minutes or so.

So down to the food: pretty good for fast food. Pro: the chicken was hot, the vegetables cool and fresh, especially the tomatoes. Cons: the cheese was processed American and definitely wasn't Kraft quality, and the bun is very white. Sourdough or wheat would have been better. And though the lettuce is fresh and crispy, it is iceberg and not green leaf like they show in pictures. One sandwich would have been enough; I finished the chicken but not the rest of the second one.

Overall, I'll say this place is decent for fast food. It's clean and airy, with pleasant adult contemporary music and fast service. The staff did not smile but they weren't rude and they did say thank you, albeit in semi-broken English. If you've never been to Texas, I promise we really do speak English.